Jealousy
by SnowyPrecipice
Summary: One in which Zoro gets jealous. Back to my nonsensical humour because I do it better than and prefer it to angst. Humour/ nonsense/ fluff.  Zosan, with appearances by the rest of the crew. Reviews loved!


The Straw Hats were currently at an island with a bustling town, and Luffy, as always, took off at a frightening speed to scour the town for food, Usopp and Chopper not far behind him. The remaining two guys drew straws and Zoro picked the long one, leaving him to guard the Merry. He just muttered a "whatever" and settled against the railings, preparing to take a nap.

He spotted the lovesick Sanji drifting behind Robin and Nami as they headed for a clothing store. _That stupid cook_, Zoro thought, _he must have some kind of special power for his body to go all wiggly like that_. He frowned and closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a nap.

He awoke some time later, not really caring how long he had slept. The sky had reddened somewhat. He stretched out his arms, yawning, and stood up, swords knocking together. He rested both arms on the railing, gazing sullenly at the town.

His expression grew dark when he spotted Sanji _not_ with Robin and Nami, but with new targets of affection. Normally, women would be apprehensive at his (drooly) advances, but today he was unusually suave, unless, of course, the women just had no taste. Sanji was talking to them in a low voice, and Zoro wondered if anything had happened between them.

Zoro snorted, feeling annoyed, but unable to tear his eyes away from the blond head that was being softly lit up by the rays of the setting sun.

The swordsman gave another irritated noise before turning away, sitting down again. _Whatever_, he thought, _he's their problem now._

The hyper captain returned with a noisy Usopp and Chopper, who were animatedly discussing a puppet show they had watched in town.

"Neh, Chopper, let me tell you about the time Captain Usopp-sama put on a grand puppet show…" Usopp began, "… with _NO PUPPETS._"

The other two gasped in surprise, riveted.

Zoro massaged his temples at their idiocy.

"No way!" Chopper squealed. "How?"

"I used real humans." Usopp remarked smartly. "And I singlehandedly controlled the strings of _all_ the puppets and made all their voices too – "He leapt about making various-pitched voices and wiggling his fingers with imaginary strings attached. " – and you should have heard the crowd cheering!"

"I want to see it!" Luffy declared, blinded with coolness.

"That doesn't even make _sense_." Zoro growled, irritation reaching its climax, and he thumped all three about the head.

They threw him wary looks and maintained silence for approximately thirty seconds before Usopp launched into another story. Zoro sighed in exasperation, leaning against the mast. It was a lost battle with those three.

He pretended not to hear the cook's greeting when he returned with Nami and Robin, nodding at the two women but ignoring Sanji completely. Sanji's eyebrow twitched and he frowned.

"What's wrong?" Sanji asked.

"Nothing." Zoro said coldly.

"You can still go to town if you want; Nami says we don't have to leave for another hour." Sanji paused thoughtfully. "On second thought, you better not. You'll definitely get lost." He slid down on the floor next to Zoro.

The swordsman edged away, a childish reaction due to his mounting annoyance.

"I guess _you_ had fun. I don't want to go to that stupid town." Zoro muttered. Usopp called over from a safe distance. "Zoro's been like that since we came back."

"What's your problem?" Sanji asked, frowning harder.

"You." Zoro snapped.

"Marimo…" Sanji grabbed his t-shirt forcefully. "Don't piss me off."

"Mellorine-head." Zoro snarled, grabbing Sanji's collar.

"Idiot."

"Asshole."

"_Brainless_ idiot."

"You already _said_ idiot." Zoro reminded him snidely.

"Well, I added brainless, because idiot is a compliment for you!" Sanji's voice rose.

("They're fighting already?" Nami sighed. Robin shrugged, and the two went to their room to put away their new clothes.)

"What's wrong with you?" Sanji tightened his hold.

"You!" Zoro clenched his free fist.

"You wanna fight?" Sanji glared menacingly.

"If it will mess up your face so you'll spare us the suffering of looking at it!" Zoro shot back the glare.

Sanji gasped. "Bastard. Now you've insulted me. I'm ten times better looking than you will _ever_ be!" He aimed a kick but Zoro dodged it.

"Love cook." Zoro made a vicious swipe with his fist, not bothering to take his sword, and Sanji easily avoided it, a tad taken aback. Sanji lowered his leg before he could deliver another kick.

"Why…?" Sanji said lamely, clearly not in the mood, mostly because he found Zoro's spite confusing.

"_My_ love cook." Zoro released Sanji's arm.

There was a silence as his words sank in.

Sanji's head jerked upwards and a startled blue eye met dark ones. "What?" His mouth was a little open.

Zoro flushed and didn't reply, storming off into the galley. Sanji stood there for a minute or so, thinking and finally coming to a conclusion. His puzzled expression was replaced by a smirk and he strode to the galley and entered the room.

The green-haired man spared him a glance, his expression one of distaste, but noting Sanji's smirk, he grew fidgety.

"Zo-ro~" Sanji cooed.

"What?" Zoro looked away and tried to look scary.

"You could have just _told_ me." Sanji sighed. Zoro grunted, trying harder to look scary.

"You were jealous?" Sanji swung his leg over Zoro, straddling him. Zoro tensed, his scowl weakening. Sanji slid two long arms around Zoro's neck, resting on broad, tanned shoulders.

"Go away." Zoro attempted to growl but failed miserably.

"You know," Sanji whispered into his ear. "Nothing happened just now. You're the only one who matters~"

"Then stop doing it. Flirting with girls." Zoro replied, brows furrowed.

"Stop scowling, marimo." Sanji shifted against Zoro, who let out a soft, breathy noise. "I need to keep up my image, you know that."

"What, that you're an idiot?" Zoro gasped out as warm lips trailed his jaw and a tongue ran over his earrings.

"If you say so." Sanji shrugged. "I'd like to think of myself as smooth and desirable to women." He paused. "And men, I suppose." Zoro rolled his eyes.

"Fine, just one man." Sanji placated the swordsman, who mumbled something about 'stop being cheesy or I'll cut your throat or barf on you'. Sanji ignored the threats.

"Satisfied?" He grinned, and Zoro responded with a forceful kiss. Sanji kissed back equally as hard, and in a matter of seconds Zoro had him against the wall a few feet away, lips crushing against his.

"Mmm." Sanji pushed Zoro back and slammed him against the wall, giving another deep, hungry kiss, because both were compatible that way – inhuman strength and a desire for force.

"AURGHHHHHHHH!" They turned to see Usopp reeling back in horror and mortification. "WHAT – " Sanji was over in a flash and knocked the sniper out with a clean kick to the head.

Zoro watched disinterestedly. "You didn't have to do that."

"No interruptions." Sanji growled, flinging Usopp out the door and onto a fluffy Guard point Chopper, who was witnessing a very angry Nami and a sheepish Luffy.

Sanji locked the door and returned hastily, strong arms rewinding around his waist and pulling him in.

"Hear, hear." Zoro remarked appreciatively, allowing a fired up Sanji to resume their session, oblivious to the commotion outside.

(((())))

A considerable amount of time later, two pleased – as pleased as Zoro could look, anyway – men exited the galley.

"Looks like they made up." Robin commented, looking up from her latest book.

"Yeah." Nami left a beaten up Luffy and huffed back to her seat. "The only way they know how, probably." She gave a wry smile.

They knew tomorrow it would happen all over again when they headed to a new island with new girls for Sanji to swoon over, but it was nice to enjoy the peace (instead of the raw sexual tension) until then, Nami told Robin.

Meanwhile, the unconscious Usopp finally came back to reality, convincing himself that whatever he saw had just been a very bad, _bad_, dream.

-_end _-

* * *

_Okay, so the past few fics I felt a block in my head and I didn't have much fun writing them, but I quite liked writing this one, or maybe because it included the crew. ^^_

And let's assume the galley's door can be locked, and that Nami and Robin always know what's going on. Wondering what Nami was scolding Luffy about? I dunno either, only vague notions in my head... x)

Reviews always welcome. 


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